9 things I stopped doing that made me the best version of myself.
1. Trying to help everyone else succeed.
This may sound weird, but it's true. I spent so much time making sure other people were successful in their endeavors that it was hindering my success. It may be nice to help others but make sure you're not sacrificing yourself in the process. Finding a good balance between helping other people and helping myself made me realize my full potential and because of that more opportunities arose, including JUSTCHAMBERS.COM.
2. Being a yes person!
It's okay to say no. Say it with me. It's okay to say NO! I was a yes man for a long time and in the end all it did was make me get myself in situations I didn't want to be in. So now I say No to the things I am not comfortable doing. Getting naked is not one of them... ;)
3. Fighting your Spouses Family battles.
I'm a fighter. But in order to be a better husband and person, I had to finally let go. This is one fight that was not mine to fight and therefore I was more useful standing on the sideline and cheering on my wife as she fought it. It also gave me the opportunity to learn how she wanted to be supported in the matter and brings you closer to what they need rather than another voice in the chaos. When you fight your spouses battle you become the messenger and we all know what happens to the messenger. Spoiler alert, he dies.
4. Overcompensating in relationships.
I have a tendency to pick up the slack in all my relationships. Including my marriage. If one person is under performing in their commitments and responsibilities, assisting them at every beck and call only creates a dynamic in the relationship that can't possibly be maintained. It also creates an overwhelming sense of dependency on yourself to ensure every task gets done. Resulting in just frustration and distance in the relationship. I realized it's okay that they didn't keep their side of the bargain. It's my job to meet them halfway, if they are not there then you wait and if they care enough eventually they will find their way there on their own.
5. Voicing an unsolicited opinion.
I used to be the advice king in every situation. Whether I was for you or against you. I learned it often times makes you the enemy if you're not siding with the person, which just creates unnecessary tension between the two of you. Be very cautious to ask the person venting to you if they want your opinion or just want you to listen. Unless asked, I don't offer up my opinion and in return this has made for far less debatable conversations. Ensuring success when it comes to talking to someone and even more so when you need the conversation to be short and sweet.
the best me has his arms around you.
6. Saying everything is Fine.
All the time, I'm fine. I'm fine. Honestly, that's what I would say but everything was far from fine. I got so used to being fine, I was never good. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to have a problem you can't solve. The biggest change I made was telling people what was wrong. It's overwhelming trying to be perfect. Honestly there is no such thing. So why even bother with it. When I started to allow myself to not be fine. I discovered life lessons from those who had been through similar situations that made me wiser and happier.
7. Labeling yourself.
Oooh this one is good. Stop putting labels on yourself. Labels span from sexuality, lifestyle, gender all the way to personality. The moment you define yourself with a label you instantly are constricted to that definition. I struggled with this for a long time. I love fashion, I love being loud and boisterous, my personality is so rambunctious. Often times I used to hide who I was in fear of being labeled something that is considered "shameful" by society's standards. But you know what is actually shameful. People who have put negative connotations on these labels. We are all humans and should be able to live the life we want to live free of judgement and or ridicule. Soooo whatttt.... She likes her hair short, working construction, drinking beer, does that make her a boy? So what if he cries and loves nice clothes, does that make him a girl, not manly, gay? No, it makes her, HER. It makes him, HIM. We are all different people and the moment you allow yourself to be free of the stereotypical chains and labels is the moment you are free to be your true self and most of all, LIVE OUT LOUD. P.S. - Sorry I'm a fucking artist, I love being fucking naked. I have so much shit running through my brain, different personalities, how I interpret everything and the things I like and what I like to do and how I want to do them and create. It is impossible for me to be labeled as something, and actually I'm not sorry about it because I fucking love it. ;)
8) Being okay doing things on your own.
No one should be alone and you cannot succeed if you do everything yourself. You have to entrust people with tasks and let them succeed or fail. You need to work with others in order for the success of all those involved. Emotionally you cannot be alone. That's when depression kicks in. Believe me I never wanted to need someone, but even superman needed Lois Lane.