I wrote a really good post about this on Instagram which inspired this blog post.
Keeping in line with our October theme BARE SCARE - Let's talk about the fear of Change. Why are people afraid of change? And those who aren't afraid of change, how can they still sometimes inappropriately handle it when it comes?
I have found there are a few different reasons people are afraid of change and I wont go over all of them in this blog-post but these are some common ones that stand out and what you can do to better deflect the fear.
We live our life and get comfortable in our daily routine. When that routine is upset, it messes up our mental train of thought in our productivity mindset. We literally chalk it up to make it feel like walking off a cliff, without putting common sense behind it. If you walk off a cliff, no matter what happens you are going to hit the ground. Meaning, you know what's going to happen in the end. It's the in-between you are afraid of. If you look at your fear of the unknown the same way, it will be less scary. For example; when change strikes and you're afraid of what's going to happen next..look at the situation as no matter what happens, it will all be okay. When you put your energy there, the in-between becomes less terrifying and you find yourself more willing to walk off that cliff. Because regardless you'll land on your own two feet.
LOSS OF CONTROL
We human's hate when things happen that are out of our control. And when change happens, it often times comes at the most inconvenience of times. We reject it because that means we are forfeiting control to something we don't quite understand yet. Until we understand it, we will be at its mercy. Change may remove control of a given situation but it doesn't remove choice. You still have a choice you can make on whether or not your next decision will be the right one for you. If you remove the attention from being in control all the time and just focus that attention on making the right decisions during the transition, this fear of loosing control will be less intimidating.
Change is rejected when people feel they can not succeed given their new situation or circumstance. They will use any excuse to avoid it. But at the end of the day it's a hidden fear that their talent or skill set might not be enough to complete the task and render them obsolete. To avoid falling into this fear, constantly learn. Invest your time in becoming fully aware of your skill set as well as your self. Be the catalysis to do something different in your skill set, just to ensure that when great change comes, you have created mechanisms to handle it. It will better prepare you for when change does occur.
Now lets shift our focus to those who love change and embrace it whole heartily. Even though they love it, some times they embrace it inappropriately. Believe it or not, fear is still a factor here. Just because you see something coming doesn't always mean you know what to do with it when it arrives.
This person uses change as a fear of the constant. The moment routine sets in they lose value in or excitement in their lives. Fear of depression often causes habitual change, because you feel you will grow tired of a person, job or lifestyle. So you constantly need to change it so you feel fresh. I challenge you to instead of changing it, look at it and make it new again. This is necessary in order to have any strong commitment to anything. Everything becomes routine, but you will find that there is an excitement in finding new ways to make something old feel new again.
This is a person that makes every decision emotionally. Change is coming their way each and every day, but although they are embracing it...every decision is made off of emotion and not logical thinking. For example, well, I'm not happy so that means I need to change my relationship. Emotions can be great and it's a wonderful thing to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Especially when it comes to change. But when making decisions for your life. It is better to leave emotions at the door. Emotions often time make us do things we later regret, and have become the catalysis for changes we did not want or have to have. So this person who stays constant in the fact that their life is always changing, and stays emotional, should learn that although the change is great, it's not a good or healthy change, it's just another form of fear. Fear of facing the hardship and working through it in hopes of a brighter future.
This is that person that whenever change strikes, they focus all their time and energy on that change. Pretty much becoming tunnel visioned to the rest of the world. The person who focuses all their attention on the change they are experiencing, often times lets other parts of their life faultier. It's like a garden. Just because you decide to plant a new fruit doesn't mean you should neglect all the other fruit. If you do that you will never have a garden. Just a plant. If that plant should die than you will have nothing. Sorry to be morbid but I say this with LOVE because when change occurs it's great, but focus your energy on smoothly transitioning that change into your routine to not derail your future but strengthen in.
I personally love change, and I am going through so many changes myself. I am learning so much and really put my nose deep in self help. I came across the stuff and topics above from some self help I was doing and thought it was so interesting that I wanted to share it with you guys! I hope it helped and you learned something new!
Unexpected moments can change your life, if you're ready for them.